I'm Ginger. Fly me!

So I was sitting there – across from my better half – admiring the view of both said person and the mountains outside the window of the sunny café pub. A pint of lager in one hand – a nacho in the other. We had just finished a long hike drive and it was time for a visit over hops, barley, and various deep fried goodness. A little après ski. Sans the skiing.

That’s when I heard the sound – foreign in the moment – and yet strangely familiar. Ah yes – the sound of the cell phone ringing in my backpack red snakeskin purse. A sound so foreign nestled amongst the sunshine and trees outside the window at the mountain resort.

It was Miss L. It wasn't like her to call – as I had told her we were heading out of town for some much needed…um...R & R. I answered her call though – my very own call of the wild so to speak – and she sounded v. upset.

Her brother – who had the poor taste to set her up with her now-ex-BF Mr. Beige – had run into Mr. Beige the night before – out and about on the town with a new accessory of the female persuasion. And at first I couldn’t figure out why this would bother her. I mean she left Mr. Beige. And good riddance – she can do so much better. But the problem is just that – she hasn’t done better…YET. And the mere fact that he is moving on and is dating someone new – while she is reading self-help books, going to sex toy parties, taking cooking classes, and volunteering with the poor (okay I made that last one up) in order to better herself – while he – Mr. Beige (complete with the red neck/blue collar) is out and about on the town.

So I told her I understood. I’ve been there too. (‘Cuz who hasn’t really?) I mean I half expected The Ex - (* my very own Ex) - to erect (don’t read into it) a shrine in my honour – and worship it once – twice – max thrice – daily. But that didn’t happen either. Hell – I’m not sure that a year and half later he even notices my absence yet. But that being said – it IS easier to move on yourself – rather than see someone else move on – while you are momentarily stuck in limbo.

And she understood that. Sorta. But then she also couldn't get over another sorta silly, somewhat trivial, but very real-to-her concern. Mr. Beige had a hole in his heart where an educated lawyer once lived. And now that spot had been taken over by a flight attendant. A stewardess. A waitress in the sky. And at that point I truly understood. For I too had encountered that very situation. In fact, I couldn’t have written a better outcome for The Ex than ending up with a flight attendant as is also his new accessory. Something along the lines of:

“Once Upon a Time Ginger was fed up with being taken for granted and/or being ignored despite her very charming, very feeling, very intelligent package, and finally left her already-absent spouse. She had not only figured out WHO she was but WHAT she wanted out of life, and the type of man she would like to share that life with. Enter her former BFF/current beau, and for the first time – in her whole entire life – she thought “Here it is – someone who often sees this crazy world how I do…someone I can share all this with…someone who gets me...someone I love...and who returns that back to me tenfold. I am so unbelievably lucky!” Meanwhile, The Ex spent his days…and nights…playing videogames, playing extreme sports, playing videogames about extreme sports, until one day one of his esteemed extreme sporting colleagues introduced him to a 22-year-old flight attendant despite his mid-30’s reality. “Hmm…” thought The Ex in the split second he had while the Playstation fired up “Out of town most of the time AND free flights? SCORE!!!”

And the thing is – one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. I was not replaced by a flight attendant. And nor was Miss L. We both made conscious decisions to leave situations that were ultimately very bad for us. And I have been lucky enough to start rebuilding a new life with someone else. Someone better suited to me. And she will too. It’s just a matter of timing.

So what words of wisdom did I impart? Basically that she is one of the most wonderful people on this planet – funny, kind, pretty, smart, and even deep (learning to be anyways). And that I am proud of her for beginning to understand what she wants out of life, because she will find it. She just has to be patient and wait for it to happen. And when it does the view from first class will be much much MUCH better than the view from serving peanuts at a cruising altitude of 27,000 feet.

But until she's willing to believe me, I defer to the Replacements. Who actually - in retrospect - may have said it better…

She don't wear no pants and she don't wear no tie
Always on the ball, she's always on strike
Struttin' up the aisle, big deal, you get to fly
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky

Paid my fare, don't wanna complain
You get to me, you're always outta champagne
Treat me like a bum, don't wear no tie'cause
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky

And the sign says, "Thank you very much for not smoking"
My own sign says, "I'm sorry, I'm smokin'"
Don't treat me special, don't kiss my ass
Treat me like the way they treat 'em up in first class

Sanitation expert and a maintenance engineer
Garbage man, a janitor and you my dear
A real union flight attendant, my oh my
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky
You ain't nothin' but a waitress in the sky