Nuts & Bolts

So a friend of mine is having a procedure this afternoon. A "procedure." Makes it sound a little less serious than "surgery." Also kinda makes it sound like he may be getting THE snip…but I for one hope that is not the case…

Anyways….the two of us were chatting last night…somewhat…and he tells me in a presumably joking fashion what he has become quite fond of the small-non-serious-albeit-a-bit-unsightly mass on his neck which we have both come to refer to as the bolt (well actually “bawlt” when said in South-African-British-Canadian muddled accent…) much in the fashion of a cartoon Frankenstein. He says he will actually miss it when it’s gone.

Which got me thinking (yes the dreaded thinking again - the thing I try so desperately not to do)…can you actually miss something that has no value to you…something which may even be detrimental to you…just because it has been a part of your life for so long? And yes. I suppose you can. In fact, I know you can. It’s like this thing…this bawlt …is not there for any particular reason - it’s just there hanging on…and just the thought that it is still there is comforting in some bizarre way…and the thought of being without it is not so much...regardless of its value…real or otherwise.

So what is it you do? I mean obviously - you need to rid yourself of this stuff. But if you are like me - you hold on desperately…because you hate ridding your life of anything…the shirt you wore on the that first date (or whatever it was) to that sunny café with the unsteady mugs so long ago…(even if said item is outdated and rather worn out now.) Or the ticket stubs to Closer because it was the first movie you walked out on in your life and reminds you how empowered your silent little protest made you feel. But at what point do you cut this stuff off? Stop hanging on to all these little things in boxes…shelves…jars on the mantle …whatever? Because at some point you are hanging on to so much of this stuff that you are completely overloaded and can’t collect anything else…and you find yourself living amongst a cluttered confusing mess of the past… finding it difficult to sort the important from the not-so-important…instead of living calmly in the moment.

Well. These are the things I am trying to focus my attention on now. And note to Frank…if you could maybe just hang onto that bolt for me…as I believe it may be me who is in need of her head being screwed on tighter.

Thanks luv…