Dress Code

So I was getting ready for work this morning, and decided to wear the skirt that I have been saving since Christmas, the one Baby Sis gave me all the way from Vegas (don’t judge it – there’s no Gold Lamé anywhere)...the one she bought in August because she knew it would be perfect for me when the time was right. And it is. So cute. I would describe it here - only it would not do it justice, rather it would sound hideous…much like my gold-and-black-striped-paisley-polka-dot couch. Sounds terrible. But it works. Trust me.

Anyways…I am running late…as per usual it seems as I cannot seem to drag myself out of bed these days as in sleep everything is okay…and am jumping into my clothes (which I have laid out the night before…yes...some neuroticisms you just can’t get past) and I put on my skirt and catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. And that’s when it hits me. This uncontrollable urge to twirl around like I’m 5 years old…just to see how the skirt sways. And suddenly I remember what it was like to go to birthday parties when I was little…all dressed up in my new - usually pink - dress…which of course I was not allowed to put on until the moment I was leaving so as to avoid coke-pop spills all down the front…and I can almost hear my mom telling me to have fun, don’t forget to say please and thank-you, don’t eat too much cake, and call us when you need a ride. And I am so excited to get there and show my friends my new dress because I feel like a princess even if it isn’t my birthday…although at this point I am so nervous about whether or not the gift I am giving is right – is it as nice as the other presents, will the birthday girl love it or will I feel stupid because my mom didn’t buy something as cool as Carly’s mom (who incidentally let us call her by her first name which I thought was really glamorous circa 1980, but also made me feel really uncomfortable in retrospect...though - ugh - at the time she was probably younger than I am now...)

Anyways. I digress. The thing that got me thinking most was right now – in this moment – there is not a single soul for me to twirl around for. A party dress is just a plain old dress when there is no one there to watch you watch your reflection in the mirror…smile approvingly, make some comment about you looking like a princess…and then making a further comment about what he would do to you in that dress (circa 2006 – not 1980) all the while with smiley eyes that adore everything they are seeing.

So add that to the list of things I miss. And the list of things I want again. Because I have a lot more twirling that needs to be done…